Would you like to make some new friends who are single like yourself? Come join us at our social lunch @ TCC The Pier!
LoveStory.sg is delighted to present a cosy Social Lunch at TCC The Pier! Take this opportunity to meet the person whom you’ve been chatting with, and get to know other singles as well!
Look forward to TCC’s signature cuisines, ice breaking activities (that won’t cause you to spill your food), and some fun and laughter to help you unwind on a Saturday afternoon!
To make your day even sweeter, one lucky winner will also walk away with a pair of movie vouchers at our LoveStory.sg Event Draw! It’ll be the perfect reason to ask that special person who caught your attention out again =)
Wish to find out more?
Just read on for more details..
Event Details:
Event: Social Lunch at TCC The Pier
Date: 23 July 2011
Time: 12pm – 3pm
Location: TCC The Pier @ Robertson – 80 Mohamed Sultan Road, Singapore 239013 (See map below)
Dress code: Casual
No. of participants: 10 (5 Females/ 5 Males)
Price: $32 (Inclusive of food and a drink)
Registration closing date: 15 July 2011
Lunch Menu
Starters:
Warm Asparagus Ragout Salad
OR
Bisque of Mushroom
Main Course:
Ocean Sur’fin
OR
Baked Chicken Thigh With Wholegrain Mustard Sauce
OR
Wild Shrooms Spaghetti
Beverage: (Choice of 1 drink)
Ice Coffee
Cappuccino Italiano
Cafe Latte
Ice Flavored Tea
Ice Lemon Tea
Hot/Cold Chocolate
Seats are limited so hurry, simply log in to your LoveStory.sg account to register today! For more enquiries, please drop us a mail at events@lovestory.sg. We look forward to seeing you!
Location Map: TCC @ The Pier
In my previous post on The Words We Use, I mentioned about the preferences we have when processing information, and how that affects the way we communicate.
The primary representational systems for most of us are Visual, Audio and Kinesthetic. There is a smaller number of people who might use Gustatory (Taste) and Olfactory (Smell) as their primary systems. Usually, these two are included in the kinesthetic sense, or serve as links to associated pictures or sounds.
A point to remember is that representational systems are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to recall a scene, and include the sounds and feelings simultaneously, though it is quite rare for three to be used together all the time. Most of us tend to have one or two representation systems that we prefer when thinking.
Also, it is possible to develop and improve. For example, a person who is mostly visual might have difficulty learning music initially. However, with practice, they can also develop the auditory aspect of their representational systems.
Research have shown that people with similar representation systems tend to prefer similar choice of words, and build rapport faster. To put it simply, a visual person would tend to use more visual words, and so on.
Here are some examples
Visual
Seems like a good idea
That’s a bright dress
I can’t picture that
We share the same vision
I see what you mean
I see your point of view
Audio
We share the same frequency
Sounds like a good idea
Can I voice my opinion?
That’s a loud dress
That’s unheard of
Hear you loud and clear
Kinesthetic
Got a good feeling about this
Can’t quite put my hand on it
That’s a comfortable dress
Hang in there
What do you feel like having?
Feels like a cosy place
Auditory Digital (Refers to internal dialogue – taking to self)
I think it’s a good idea
Doesn’t quite make sense
Let me ponder about it
What’s the logic behind it?
Do note that because of the influence of media and books, it is common for people to use phrases that might depict a certain representational system even though it is not their preferred one (For example: I smell a rat). The key here is consistency in their speech.
So the next time you talk to someone at a dating event, notice the words they use. Or when they recall something, notice what comes to their mind first. This might give you an insight to their preferred representational system, and allow you to build better rapport by using words that suit them more =)
Our interpersonal communication with others usually starts with our thoughts, resulting in words, tonality and body language. There are many ways to define “thoughts”, and one of them is how we use our senses internally.
We use our senses outwardly to perceive the world, and inwardly to represent experience to ourselves. When recalling experiences, such as a time you went to the beach, what appears in your mind first? Maybe a picture of the beach would appear. Perhaps you hear the sounds of the waves and children playing. Or the feeling of how relaxed you were just sitting by the sea.
Here’s another example. When you ask a group of students to describe their form teacher, you could get a variety of answers. One student might recall the hairstyle and dressing first, followed by the teacher’s voice, and how he or she feels about the teacher’s lessons.
Another might first recall that the teacher has a very deep and powerful voice, followed by how the teacher always makes the class feel interesting, and lastly, how the teacher looks.
This method of taking in and storing information in our minds, through our five senses (Seeing, hearing, feeling, taste and smell) is known as Representational Systems in the study of Neuro Linguistic Programming. Understanding the fact that people think in different manners will improve our interpersonal communication skills significantly.
Here are the five senses and their corresponding systems:
Seeing – Visual
Hearing – Audio
Feeling – Kinesthetic
Taste – Gustatory
Smell – Olfactory
In my next post, I’ll cover ways for us to find out the dominant senses of a person through the words used. So stay tuned to find out more! =)
Listening is one of the most underrated aspect of communication skills. If we are honest with ourselves, we’ll probably agree that it requires mammoth effort to be listening 100% of the time.
Occasionally, we’ll have thoughts crossing our minds, we could also be thinking of what to say next, or perhaps just distracted by things taking place in the surroundings.
Yet when we speak, we expect (or at least hope) that the other party would pay attention to what we’re saying. At a dating event where everyone is trying to say as much about themselves as possible, the ability to listen and remember will stand you out from the crowd.
To understand how to be a better listener, it may help by first understanding the different forms of listening.
1. Competitive listening takes place when we are more interested to voice our opinion or thoughts instead of really listening to the content of another person.
Under such circumstances, we’re probably waiting for an opportunity to speak, or coming up with rebuttals in our minds when something is being said.
2. Passive listening is when we hear the words that are spoken, though the message that is being interpreted may be totally different from the intended one. The problem with this form of listening is the lack of feedback, or verification.
So the listener hears the message, interprets it in his or her own way, and just accepts the message as it is. Of course, this may potentially lead to misunderstandings.
3. Active listening refers to the process where we are really interested in hearing what the other party is saying. We could also imagine ourselves in the shoes of the speaker to get more empathy.
Some key elements of active listening include signs to show that we’re listening (such as nodding of head and eye contact), and feedback (which means restating or paraphrasing of our understanding and clarifying things).
Needless to say, active listening is the stage that we should aim to be at. Start practicing today by making an effort to listen more, and listen effectively! =)
As LoveStory.sg ‘s member base increases, it’s only appropriate that we provide some ideas on online dating =)
1. For a start, upload a nice profile picture of yourself, preferably something that reflects who you are – sporty image, corporate image, homely image, etc.
Statistics show that people generally tend to bypass profiles without images. As the number of members increase, the importance of a profile picture increases too.
2. Describe yourself honestly. LoveStory.sg uses a compatibility search function that is based on your preferences, as well as your profile description. So be as accurate as possible.
It’s better to find a compatible match for who you really are, rather than having multiple matches that is built on an unstable foundation.
3. Avoid being too aggressive online. Being a member in a dating website doesn’t mean you have to start asking for phone numbers or email addresses from the very first message you send.
In fact, asking for too many personal details at the start may cause you to look desperate. Pace yourself and build up rapport first before progressing.
4. Make use of LoveStory.sg events in future. LoveStory.sg is a unique dating service because we provide both online networking, and offline dating events. As our member base grows, our events will also start rolling.
Make use of these events to meet each other in person. Have an event that you’re interested in joining? Why not get that person whom you’ve been chatting online to go along as well? It could also be a form of an informal date for both of you! =)